{"id":1871,"date":"2015-01-27T19:37:38","date_gmt":"2015-01-27T18:37:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzsouthafrica.com\/?p=1871"},"modified":"2019-10-05T23:02:30","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:02:30","slug":"funniest-jokes-ever-told","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buzzsouthafrica.com\/funniest-jokes-ever-told\/","title":{"rendered":"100+ Funniest Jokes Ever Told"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes humour through riddles and jokes is the best way to drive a point home or make people understand your point better. It can communicate ideas that are not only lighthearted but also\u00a0serious.\u00a0What kind of jokes do you like? Jokes are meant to be funny, the main reason why people listen or read jokes is mainly because of the humour associated with it, primarily everyone loves funny jokes and the funnier the joke gets, the better. Everyone loves fun, different people have different ways to have fun, but you’ll agree with me that listening or reading funny jokes is surely one of the safest and guaranteed ways to have fun without hurting anyone. Here is a list of the funniest jokes that will make you laugh out loud. We hope you’ll find it interesting.<\/p>\n

The Funniest Jokes Ever<\/span><\/h2>\n

1. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.<\/p>\n

2. How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.<\/p>\n

3. Why can\u2019t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the \u201cP\u201d is silent.<\/p>\n

4. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.<\/p>\n

5. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he\u2019s only got his shelf to blame.<\/p>\n

6. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyonc\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n

7. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.<\/p>\n

8. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it\u2019s more of a wrap.<\/p>\n

9. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.<\/p>\n

10. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.<\/p>\n

11. PMS should just be called ovary-acting.<\/p>\n

12. Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.<\/p>\n

13. Basic research is what I’m doing, when I don’t know what I’m doing.<\/p>\n

14. Alcoholic? No, I prefer the term Drinking Enthusiast.<\/p>\n

15. What\u2019s so real about reality TV shows?<\/p>\n

16. This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.<\/p>\n

17. It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.<\/p>\n

18. Nobody knows I\u2019m not wearing underwear.<\/p>\n

19. What\u2019s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.<\/p>\n

20. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks \u201cHow do you drive this thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

21. Why can\u2019t a bike stand on its own? It\u2019s two tired.<\/p>\n

22. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.<\/p>\n

23. There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her 24. sneered at me and I thought, well that\u2019s a little condescending.<\/p>\n

24. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.<\/p>\n\n

25. Why didn\u2019t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!<\/p>\n

26. Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!<\/p>\n

27. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.<\/p>\n

28. Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.<\/p>\n

29. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.<\/p>\n

30. Learn sign language, it\u2019s very handy.<\/p>\n

31. It\u2019s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.<\/p>\n

32. I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what\u2019s telling me that.<\/p>\n

33. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.<\/p>\n

34. I hate it when they\u2019re talking and gum falls out of their mouth.<\/p>\n

35. I\u2019m in a love triangle with me, myself and I.<\/p>\n

36. That awkward moment when someone knows you, but you don\u2019t know them.<\/p>\n

37. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They\u2019re making headlines everywhere!<\/p>\n

38. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.<\/p>\n

39. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.<\/p>\n

40. Dry erase boards are remarkable.<\/p>\n

41. Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.<\/p>\n

42. How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it<\/p>\n\n

43. At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women!<\/p>\n

44. To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.<\/p>\n

45. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.<\/p>\n

46. I like sleeping. It\u2019s like death without the commitment.<\/p>\n

47. So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.<\/p>\n

48. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.<\/p>\n

49. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.<\/p>\n

50. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.<\/p>\n

51. What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalape\u00f1o business.<\/p>\n

52. What is Bruce Lee\u2019s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!<\/p>\n

53. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.<\/p>\n

Funniest Knock Knock Jokes Ever<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"laughter\"<\/a><\/p>\n

54. Knock, Knock!
\nWho’s there?
\nDumbbell.
\nDumbbell who?
\nDumbbell doesn’t work so I had to knock!<\/p>\n

55. Knock, Knock!
\nWho’s there?
\nA Pile-Up
\nA Pile-Up Who?
\nEwwwwww<\/p>\n\n

56. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nAlex!
\nAlex who?
\nAlex the questions round here!<\/p>\n

57. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nTunis!
\nTunis who?
\nTunis company, three’s a crowd!<\/p>\n

58. Knock Knock.
\nWho’s there?
\nButch, Jimmy and Joe.
\nButch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?
\nButch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.<\/p>\n

59. Knock Knock Who’s there?
\nOpportunity.
\nDon’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!<\/p>\n

60. Knock Knock
\nWho\u2019s There?
\nBen Hur
\nBen Hur who?
\nBen Hur over and give it to her doggy style!<\/p>\n

61. Knock Knock
\nWho\u2019s There?
\nJustin
\nJustin who?
\nYour justin time to wipe my @$$ !<\/p>\n

62. Knock Knock.
\nWho’s there?
\nThe guy who finished second.
\nThe guy who finished second who?
\nExactly.<\/p>\n

63. Knock knock!
\nWho’s there?
\nYah!
\nYah who?
\nNaaah, bro, I prefer google.<\/p>\n

64. Knock knock
\nWho’s there
\nWoo!
\nWoo who?
\nDon’t get too excited it’s just a knock knock joke.<\/p>\n

65. Knock knock
\nWho’s there
\nMoustache!
\nMoustache who?
\nI moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.<\/p>\n

66. Knock, Knock!
\nWho\u2019s There?
\nBuster!
\nBuster who?
\nBuster Cherry! Is your daughter home?<\/p>\n\n

67. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nOrange
\nOrange who?
\nOrange you going to answer the door?<\/p>\n

68. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nUrine
\nUrine Who?
\nURINEsecure don’t know what for<\/p>\n

69. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nOld lady
\nOld lady who?
\nWow I didn’t know you could yodel.<\/p>\n

70. Knock knock
\nWho’s there
\nGorilla
\nGorilla who
\nGorilla me a hamburger<\/p>\n

71. Knock knock
\nWho’s there
\nAmish
\nAmish Who?
\nAwwww How sweet. I miss you too.<\/p>\n

72. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nIran!
\nIran who?
\nIran over here to tell you this!<\/p>\n

73. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nDaisy
\nDaisy who?
\nDaisy me rollin, they hatin<\/p>\n

74. Knock knock!
\nWho’s there?
\nDwayne!
\nDwayne who?
\nDwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning.<\/p>\n

75. Knock, Knock!
\nWho\u2019s There?
\nDewey!
\nDewey who?
\nDewey have to use a condom?<\/p>\n

76. Knock, Knock!
\nWho’s there?
\nDoctor
\nDoctor who?
\nThat’s a great T.V. show, isn’t it?<\/p>\n

77. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there ?
\nDishes!
\nDishes who?
\nDishes the Police come out with your hands up.<\/p>\n

78. Knock Knock
\nWho’s There?
\nAhmed
\nAhmed who?
\nAhmed the payphone trying to call home.<\/p>\n\n

79. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there !
\nIce cream !
\nIce cream who ?
\nIce cream if you don’t let me in!<\/p>\n

80. Knock Knock
\nWho’s there?
\nDoris!
\nDoris who?
\nDoris locked that\u2019s why I am knocking!<\/p>\n

81. Knock knock
\nWho’s there
\nAch!
\nAch who?<\/p>\n

Funniest Short Jokes Ever<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"smiley-face-wallpaper-016\"<\/a><\/p>\n

82. Sounds like your coming down with a cold<\/p>\n

83. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.<\/p>\n

84. A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”<\/p>\n

85. I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.<\/p>\n

86. I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.<\/p>\n

87. Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.<\/p>\n

88. It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.’<\/p>\n

89. Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.<\/p>\n

90. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.<\/p>\n

91. I was wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…. then it hit me.<\/p>\n

92. Have I told you this deja vu joke before?<\/p>\n

93. What’s the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people<\/p>\n

94. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.<\/p>\n

95. Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”<\/p>\n

96. “This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.”<\/p>\n

97. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.<\/p>\n

98. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?<\/p>\n

99. Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”<\/p>\n\n

100. I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves<\/p>\n

101. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.<\/p>\n

102. It\u2019s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.<\/p>\n

103. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.<\/p>\n

104. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.<\/p>\n

105. Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.<\/p>\n

106. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.<\/p>\n

107. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.<\/p>\n

108. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.<\/p>\n

109. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be…<\/p>\n

110. I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes humour through riddles and jokes is the best way to drive a point home or make people understand your point better. It can communicate ideas that are not only lighthearted but also\u00a0serious.\u00a0What kind of jokes do you like? Jokes are meant to be funny, the main reason why people listen or read jokes is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":5207,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_oasis_is_in_workflow":0,"_oasis_original":0,"_oasis_task_priority":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[431],"tags":[422],"yoast_head":"\n100+ Funniest Jokes Ever Told<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jokes are a vital requirement for a happy living. Almost everyone finds the funniest jokes interesting and relieving to laugh at. 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