1. Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?<\/p>\n
A. In snow banks.<\/p>\n
2. Q. What’s brown and sticky?<\/p>\n
A. A stick.<\/p>\n
3. Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?<\/p>\n
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!<\/p>\n
4. Q. What dog keeps the best time?<\/p>\n
A. A watchdog.<\/p>\n
5. Q. Why did the tomato turn red?<\/p>\n
A. It saw the salad dressing!<\/p>\n
6. Q. What happens to cows during an earthquake?<\/p>\n
A. They give milkshakes!<\/p>\n
7. Q. Why did the jelly wobble?<\/p>\n
A. Because it saw the milkshake!<\/p>\n
8. Q. What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies?<\/p>\n
A. Betty!<\/p>\n\n
9. Q. What did the penny say to the other penny?<\/p>\n
A. We make perfect cents.<\/p>\n
10. Q. Why did the man with one hand cross the road?<\/p>\n
A. To get to the second-hand shop.<\/p>\n
11. Q. Why did the picture go to jail?<\/p>\n
A. Because it was framed.<\/p>\n
12. Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?<\/p>\n
A. I’ll meet you at the corner.<\/p>\n
13. Q. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?<\/p>\n
A. So he could tie the score.<\/p>\n
14. Q. Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?<\/p>\n
A. They both depend on the batter.<\/p>\n
15. Q. Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?<\/p>\n
A. Because they dropped out of school!<\/p>\n
16. Q. What goes up and down but doesn’t move?<\/p>\n
A. The temperature!<\/p>\n
17. Q. What two days of the week start with the letter “T”?<\/p>\n
A. Today and Tomorrow!<\/p>\n
18. Q. What did the judge say to the dentist?<\/p>\n
A. Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?<\/p>\n
19. Q. What do you call a bear with no socks on?<\/p>\n
A. Barefoot.<\/p>\n
20.\u00a0. What can you serve but never eat?<\/p>\n
A. A volleyball. 21. Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?<\/p>\n A. No thanks, I’m stuffed!<\/p>\n 22. Q. Why did the barber win the race?<\/p>\n A. Because he took a shortcut.<\/p>\n 23. Q. What’s taken before you get it?<\/p>\n A. Your picture.<\/p>\n\n 24. Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?<\/p>\n A. Because he wanted to work over-time!<\/p>\n 25. Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?<\/p>\n A. Because he wanted to see time fly!<\/p>\n 26. Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?<\/p>\n A. Jell-o!<\/p>\n 27. Q. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?<\/p>\n A. In case they get a hole in one!<\/p>\n 28. Q. What did the tie say to the hat?<\/p>\n A. You go on ahead, I’ll just hang around!<\/p>\n 29. Q. What would you call two banana skins?<\/p>\n A. A pair of slippers<\/p>\n 30. Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?<\/p>\n A. With cabbage patches!<\/p>\n 31. Q. Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison?<\/p>\n A. Because it makes you break out!<\/p>\n 32. Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?<\/p>\n A. Mockaroni!<\/p>\n 33. Q. How do you catch a squirrel?<\/p>\n A. Climb a tree and act like a nut!<\/p>\n 34. Q. What do you do with a blue whale?<\/p>\n A. Try to cheer him up!<\/p>\n 35. Q. How do you communicate with a fish?<\/p>\n A. Drop him a line!<\/p>\n 36. Q. Did you hear the joke about the roof?<\/p>\n A. Never mind, it’s over your head!<\/p>\n 37. Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?<\/p>\n A. A lawn mower<\/p>\n 38. Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?<\/p>\n A. Because he had no-body to go with.<\/p>\n 39. Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?<\/p>\n A. It let out a little wine!<\/p>\n\n 40. Q. How do you make a tissue dance?<\/p>\n A. Put a little boogey in it!<\/p>\n 41. Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?<\/p>\n A. At the BP station!<\/p>\n 42. Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?<\/p>\n A. He wanted cold hard cash!<\/p>\n 43. Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?<\/p>\n A. “Is that you mommy?”<\/p>\n 44. Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?<\/p>\n A. Frostbite.<\/p>\n 45. Q. What are two things you cannot have for breakfast?<\/p>\n A. Lunch and dinner.<\/p>\n 46. Q. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?<\/p>\n A. So he could have sweet dreams.<\/p>\n 47. Q. Why did the robber take a bath?<\/p>\n A. Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.<\/p>\n 48. Q. Why can’t a leopard hide?<\/p>\n A. Because he’s always spotted!<\/p>\n 49. Q. What do you give a dog with a fever?<\/p>\n A. Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog!<\/p>\n 50. Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?<\/p>\n A. A sour puss!<\/p>\n See Also:\u00a015 Hilarious And Remarkable Quotes Of Julius Malema<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 51. Q. Why were the giant’s fingers only eleven inches long?<\/p>\n A. Because if they were twelve inches long, they’d be afoot.<\/p>\n\n 52. Q. What is invisible and smells like carrots?<\/p>\n A. Bunny Farts!<\/p>\n 53. Q. What runs but can’t walk?<\/p>\n A. The faucet!<\/p>\n 54. Q. Why did the teacher jump into the lake?<\/p>\n A. Because she wanted to test the waters!<\/p>\n 55. Q. Why did the belt go to jail?<\/p>\n A. Because it held up a pair of pants!<\/p>\n 56. Q. What is the centre of gravity?<\/p>\n A. The letter V!<\/p>\n 57. Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary?<\/p>\n A. “Smiles”, because there is a mile between each “s”!<\/p>\n 58. Q. Which month do soldiers hate most?<\/p>\n A. The month of March!<\/p>\n 59. Q. What did the painter say to the wall?<\/p>\n A. One more crack like that and I’ll plaster you!<\/p>\n 60. Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?<\/p>\n A. A turkey!<\/p>\n 61. Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?<\/p>\n A. A stomach-cake!<\/p>\n 62. Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?<\/p>\n A. He felt crummy!<\/p>\n 63. Q. When does a cart come before a horse?<\/p>\n A. In the dictionary!<\/p>\n 64. Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?<\/p>\n A. Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!<\/p>\n 65. Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat?<\/p>\n A. A little horse<\/p>\n 66. Q. What do you call cheese that is not yours?<\/p>\n A. Nacho Cheese<\/p>\n\n 67. Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?<\/p>\n A. Cell phones.<\/p>\n 68. Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?<\/p>\n A. Spoiled milk.<\/p>\n 69. Q. Where do polar bears vote?<\/p>\n A. The North Poll<\/p>\n 70. Q. What has four legs but can’t walk?<\/p>\n A. A table!<\/p>\n 71. Q. Why did the turtle cross the road?<\/p>\n A. To get to the Shell station!<\/p>\n 72. Q. What did the ground say to the earthquake?<\/p>\n A. You crack me up!<\/p>\n 73. Q. Why did the sheep say “moo”?<\/p>\n A. It was learning a new language!<\/p>\n 74. Q. What streets do ghosts haunt?<\/p>\n A. Dead ends!<\/p>\n 75. Q. What is an astronaut’s favourite place on a computer?<\/p>\n A. The Spacebar!<\/p>\n 76. Q. What bow can’t be tied?<\/p>\n A. A rainbow!<\/p>\n 77. Q. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?<\/p>\n A. Every morning you’ll rise and shine!<\/p>\n 78. Q. What does a teddy bear put in his house?<\/p>\n A. Fur-niture!<\/p>\n 79. Q. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?<\/p>\n A. He was a chicken.<\/p>\n 80. Q. What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?<\/p>\n A. The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew”.<\/p>\n 81. Q. Why did the birdie go to the hospital?<\/p>\n A. To get a tweetment.<\/p>\n 82. Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?<\/p>\n A. I better not tell you, it might spread.<\/p>\n 83. Q. How do baseball players stay cool?<\/p>\n A. Sit next to their fans.<\/p>\n 84. Q. What gets wetter the more it dries?<\/p>\n A. A towel.<\/p>\n 85. Q. Where does wood come from?<\/p>\n A. A guy named Woody.<\/p>\n 86. Q. What has one horn and gives milk<\/p>\n A. A milk truck.<\/p>\n 87. Q. Where do bulls get their messages<\/p>\n A. On a bull-etin board.<\/p>\n 88. Q. What is a tornado?<\/p>\n A. Mother nature doing the twist!<\/p>\n 89. Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?<\/p>\n A. He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!<\/p>\n 90. Q. How do you tease fruit?<\/p>\n A. Banananananananana!<\/p>\n 91. Q. What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?<\/p>\n A. My pop is bigger than yours.<\/p>\n 92. Q. What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?<\/p>\n A. You are too little to smoke.<\/p>\n 93. Q. What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?<\/p>\n A. A doctopus!<\/p>\n\n 94Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?<\/p>\n A. He has a lot of ketchup time!<\/p>\n 95. Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?<\/p>\n A. He couldn’t concentrate!<\/p>\n 96. Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?<\/p>\n A. Tomato Paste!<\/p>\n 97. Q. Why did the tree go to the dentist?<\/p>\n A. To get a root canal.<\/p>\n 98. Q. Why did the child study in the aeroplane?<\/p>\n A. He wanted a higher education!<\/p>\n 99. Q. Why was the broom late?<\/p>\n A. It over swept!<\/p>\n 100. Q. Where do cows go on holiday?<\/p>\n A. Moo York<\/p>\n 101. Q. Where did the computer go to dance?<\/p>\n A. To a disc-o.<\/p>\n 102. Q. What do you call a man who rolls in the leaves?<\/p>\n A. Russel<\/p>\n 103. Q. What has one head, one foot and four legs?<\/p>\n A. A Bed<\/p>\n 104. Q. What exam do young witches have to pass?<\/p>\n A. A spell-ing test!<\/p>\n 105. Q. Why did the boy eat his homework?<\/p>\n A. Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!<\/p>\n 106. Q. Why is Basketball such a messy sport?<\/p>\n A. Because you dribble on the floor!<\/p>\n 107. Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?<\/p>\n A. Odour in the court.<\/p>\n 108. Q. What did the water say to the boat?<\/p>\n A. Nothing, it just waved.<\/p>\n\n 109. Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?<\/p>\n A. Dam!<\/p>\n 110. Q. Why was the math book sad?<\/p>\n A. Because it had too many problems.<\/p>\n 111. Q. What runs but doesn’t get anywhere?<\/p>\n A. A refrigerator.<\/p>\n 112. Q. What did one virus say to another?<\/p>\n A. Stay away, I think I’ve got penicillin!<\/p>\n 113. Q. What did the tie say to the hat?<\/p>\n A. You go on ahead and I’ll hang around!<\/p>\n 114. Q. What pet makes the loudest noise?<\/p>\n A. A trum-pet!<\/p>\n 115. Q. What do you get when you put a fish and an elephant together?<\/p>\n A. Swimming trunks.<\/p>\n 116. Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?<\/p>\n A. An umbrella.<\/p>\n 117. Q. What disappears when you stand up?<\/p>\n A. Your lap.<\/p>\n 118. Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark?<\/p>\n A. Floodlights!<\/p>\n 119. Q. What do computers do when they get hungry?<\/p>\n A. They eat chips!<\/p>\n 120. Q. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?<\/p>\n A. Because they’re all in High School!<\/p>\n 121. Q. What kind of bed does a mermaid sleep in?<\/p>\n A. A waterbed!<\/p>\n 122. Q. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?<\/p>\n A. Firecrackers!<\/p>\n 123. Q. What kind of key opens a banana?<\/p>\n A. A monkey!<\/p>\n 124. Q. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?<\/p>\n A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?<\/p>\n 125. Q. Why does a hummingbird hum?<\/p>\n A. It doesn’t know the words!<\/p>\n 126. Q. Why was the pelican kicked out of the hotel?<\/p>\n A. Because he had a big bill!<\/p>\n 127. You\u2019re so stupid you think Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.<\/p>\n 128. You\u2019re so stupid when you missed the #44 bus you took the #22 bus twice instead!<\/p>\n 129. You\u2019re so stupid when the sign said Airport Left you turned around and went home!<\/p>\n\n 130. You\u2019re so stupid you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!<\/p>\n 131. You\u2019re so stupid you sold your car for gas money!<\/p>\n 132. You\u2019re so stupid you thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats!<\/p>\n 133. You\u2019re so stupid you thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday!<\/p>\n 134. You\u2019re so stupid under \u201ceducation\u201d on job applications you put \u201cHooked on Phonics\u201d!<\/p>\n 135. You\u2019re so stupid you tried to drown a fish!<\/p>\n 136. You\u2019re so stupid you jumped off a cliff to see if the wings on your maxi pads would make you fly!<\/p>\n 137. You\u2019re so stupid you locked yourself in a bathroom and pissed in your pants.<\/p>\n 138. You\u2019re so stupid you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.<\/p>\n 139. You\u2019re so stupid you asked someone how to spell \u201cTV.\u201d<\/p>\n 140. You\u2019re so stupid you sent me a fax with a stamp on it!<\/p>\n 141. You\u2019re so stupid you thought a quarterback was a refund!<\/p>\n 142. You\u2019re so stupid you tried to put M&M\u2019s in alphabetical order!<\/p>\n 143. You\u2019re so stupid you thought Boyz II Men was a daycare centre!<\/p>\n 144. You\u2019re so stupid you thought General Motors was in the Army!<\/p>\n 145. You\u2019re so stupid you tried to climb Mountain Dew.<\/p>\n 146. You\u2019re so stupid when you took a survey that asked you your sex you put in \u201cM, F, and sometimes Wednesday\u201d<\/p>\n 147. You\u2019re so stupid you bought tickets to Xbox Live.<\/p>\n 148. You\u2019re so stupid you looked in the lake and saw a reflection of yourself, jumped in, and tried to save yourself from drowning.<\/p>\n 149. You\u2019re so stupid you grabbed a bowl when I said it was chilly outside.<\/p>\n 150. You\u2019re so stupid you left me a voicemail by screaming into my mailbox.<\/p>\n See Also:\u00a0Funniest Break-Up Text Ever: \u201cYou Were Rude To My Cat\u201d Goes Viral<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n 151.You\u2019re so stupid you went to the beach to surf the internet.<\/p>\n 152. You\u2019re so stupid they had to burn down the school to get you out of 3rd grade!<\/p>\n 153.You\u2019re so stupid on applications that say \u201cSign Here\u201d you put \u201cLibra!\u201d<\/p>\n 154. You\u2019re so stupid at the bottom of the application where it says \u201csign here\u201d\u2026 you put \u201cSagittarius.\u201d<\/p>\n 155. You\u2019re so stupid you asked for a price check at the Dollar Store!<\/p>\n 156. You\u2019re so stupid it takes you 3 hours to watch \u201c60 Minutes!\u201d<\/p>\n 157. You\u2019re so stupid you studied for a blood test and failed!<\/p>\n 158. You\u2019re so stupid you tried to buy tokens to get on to \u201cSoul Train!\u201d<\/p>\n 159. You\u2019re so stupid when you saw under 17 not admitted at the movies you went out and got 16 friends!<\/p>\n 160. You\u2019re so stupid when you heard 90% of accidents happen at home you moved!<\/p>\n\n 161. Knock knock 162. Knock knock 162. Knock knock 163. Knock Knock 164. Knock knock 165. Knock knock 166. Knock knock 167. Knock knock 168. Knock knock 169. Knock knock 170. Knock knock 171. Knock Knock 172. Knock knock 173. Knock knock 174. Knock knock 175. Knock knock 176. Knock knock![\"jokes\"](\"https:\/\/buzzsouthafrica.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/jokes.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nReally Stupid Jokes<\/span><\/strong>
<\/a><\/h2>\nShort Stupid Jokes<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nYour So Stupid Jokes<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nStupid Knock Knock Jokes<\/span><\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nYou
\nYou who?
\nYes? I’m right here!
\nShared by a contributor
\nedited by MC Hacker<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nAlbee
\nAlbee who?
\nAlbee a monkey’s uncle!
\nShared by Argo<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nBritney Spears
\nBritney Spears who?
\nOops, I did it again<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nDaisy
\nDaisy who?
\nDaisy me rolling they hating<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nAlbie
\nAlbie who?
\nAlbie darned, a funny joke!
\nShared by Argo<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nLuke
\nLuke who?
\nLuke out – here comes another knock knock joke.
\nShared by Argo<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nQuacker
\nQuacker who?
\nQuacker another bad knock knock joke and I’m leaving!
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nYoda
\nYoda who?
\nYoda leh-ee-hoo!
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n\n
\nWho’s there?
\nGene
\nGene who?
\nGen-e-alogy
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nBart
\nBart who?
\nBart up the wrong tree!
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nCrock and Dial
\nCrock and Dial who?
\nCrock and Dial Dundee
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nObama
\nObama who?
\nObama self. Don’t wanna be…
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nLeaf
\nLeaf who?
\nLeaf me alone!
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nBritney Spears
\nBritney Spears who?<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nRita
\nRita who?
\nRita novel!
\nShared by Argo<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nWater
\nWater who?
\nWaterway to answer the door!
\nShared by Argo<\/p>\n
\nWho’s there?
\nIda
\nIda who?
\nIda knows, sorry…
\nShared by a contributor<\/p>\nStupid Jokes For Kids<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n