100+ Funniest Jokes Ever Told

Sometimes humour through riddles and jokes is the best way to drive a point home or make people understand your point better. It can communicate ideas that are not only lighthearted but also serious. What kind of jokes do you like? Jokes are meant to be funny, the main reason why people listen or read jokes is mainly because of the humour associated with it, primarily everyone loves funny jokes and the funnier the joke gets, the better. Everyone loves fun, different people have different ways to have fun, but you’ll agree with me that listening or reading funny jokes is surely one of the safest and guaranteed ways to have fun without hurting anyone. Here is a list of the funniest jokes that will make you laugh out loud. We hope you’ll find it interesting.

The Funniest Jokes Ever

1. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.

2. How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.

3. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

4. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

5. My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.

6. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.

7. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.

8. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

9. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

10. How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

11. PMS should just be called ovary-acting.

12. Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.

13. Basic research is what I’m doing, when I don’t know what I’m doing.

14. Alcoholic? No, I prefer the term Drinking Enthusiast.

15. What’s so real about reality TV shows?

16. This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

17. It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.

18. Nobody knows I’m not wearing underwear.

19. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

20. Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”

21. Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.

22. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart.

23. There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down her 24. sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.

24. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.

25. Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!

26. Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!

27. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.

28. Marketing companies should use chromosomes in advertisements because sex cells.

29. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk.

30. Learn sign language, it’s very handy.

31. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

32. I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

33. The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.

34. I hate it when they’re talking and gum falls out of their mouth.

35. I’m in a love triangle with me, myself and I.

36. That awkward moment when someone knows you, but you don’t know them.

37. Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines everywhere!

38. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well known six offender.

39. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.

40. Dry erase boards are remarkable.

41. Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

42. How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it

43. At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women!

44. To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.

45. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

46. I like sleeping. It’s like death without the commitment.

47. So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.

48. A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

49. A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

50. A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

51. What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeño business.

52. What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!

53. The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

Funniest Knock Knock Jokes Ever


54. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Dumbbell who?
Dumbbell doesn’t work so I had to knock!

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55. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
A Pile-Up
A Pile-Up Who?

56. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Alex who?
Alex the questions round here!

57. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Tunis who?
Tunis company, three’s a crowd!

58. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Butch, Jimmy and Joe.
Butch, Jimmy, and Joe Who?
Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a kiss, and let’s Joe.

59. Knock Knock Who’s there?
Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!

60. Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Ben Hur
Ben Hur who?
Ben Hur over and give it to her doggy style!

61. Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Justin who?
Your justin time to wipe my @$$ !

62. Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
The guy who finished second.
The guy who finished second who?

63. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Yah who?
Naaah, bro, I prefer google.

64. Knock knock
Who’s there
Woo who?
Don’t get too excited it’s just a knock knock joke.

65. Knock knock
Who’s there
Moustache who?
I moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

66. Knock, Knock!
Who’s There?
Buster who?
Buster Cherry! Is your daughter home?

67. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange you going to answer the door?

68. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Urine Who?
URINEsecure don’t know what for

69. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Old lady
Old lady who?
Wow I didn’t know you could yodel.

70. Knock knock
Who’s there
Gorilla who
Gorilla me a hamburger

71. Knock knock
Who’s there
Amish Who?
Awwww How sweet. I miss you too.

72. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Iran who?
Iran over here to tell you this!

73. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin, they hatin

74. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning.

75. Knock, Knock!
Who’s There?
Dewey who?
Dewey have to use a condom?

76. Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Doctor who?
That’s a great T.V. show, isn’t it?

77. Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Dishes who?
Dishes the Police come out with your hands up.

78. Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Ahmed who?
Ahmed the payphone trying to call home.

79. Knock Knock
Who’s there !
Ice cream !
Ice cream who ?
Ice cream if you don’t let me in!

80. Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doris who?
Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!

81. Knock knock
Who’s there
Ach who?

Funniest Short Jokes Ever


82. Sounds like your coming down with a cold

83. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.

84. A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”

85. I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

86. I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

87. Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.

88. It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.’

89. Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.

90. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.

91. I was wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…. then it hit me.

92. Have I told you this deja vu joke before?

93. What’s the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people

94. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

95. Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

96. “This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.”

97. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

98. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

99. Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”

100. I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves

101. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

102. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

103. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

104. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.

105. Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

106. They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.

107. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

108. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

109. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be…

110. I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.

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CJ Stanley
CJ Stanley
CJ is a voracious learner, especially when it has to do with infotech. He loves good food and when he is not surfing the web, he is trying out some strange but amazing food combinations.


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