Everyone is searching for their special someone. While many have found and settled down with their perfect mate, most are still searching for romance tips on how to treat their partners right. In doing so, they come across some ridiculous romance tips you probably shouldn’t try with someone you care about.
This piece will look at some of the romance tips which are ridiculous and absurd.
Ridiculous Romance Tips For Women
1. “To achieve sex-goddess status, you have to truly master his man bits.”
Like a master’s degree? This is not very explanatory…or helpful.
2. “Introduce doughnuts into your lovemaking”
Please, doughnuts are not to be violated in this way.
3. If he touches his belt, he definitely wants you.
Or if he hangs his fingers from his front pocket or even scratches around there, he likes you and is trying to get you to notice his nether regions. Please, don’t fall for this, it’s just not true.
4. Try DIY Condoms.
Only if you want to get pregnant. Plastic wraps and sweet wrappers are simply not good alternatives to condoms.
5. “Sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes, sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplify the feel-good effect.”
This is not only unsafe but unsanitary and also dangerous; it definitely should not be attempted without consent.
6. “If you’re out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she just wipes it off down her skirt, you’ve blown it.”
In an obvious twist, no woman likes this or wants this. It’s creepy and unappealing.
7. “She’s Dressed to Impress: can’t take your eyes off her nearly-see-through dress? Don’t – she’s scantily clad for a reason.”
She’s dressed for herself not for you. Ogling her will only make her feel uncomfortable not desired.
8. “According to new research, the smell of toast is a serious mood booster.”
Is hunger a mood? Because that’s the only thing she’ll probably feel if she visits and your place is smelling like toast bread.
9. “Girls like explicit texts, too. So next time you’re bored waiting in a queue for lunch, text her the rudest, naughtiest thing you can possibly think of and inform her of when exactly you plan to do it.”
This can only be done in a loving and UNDERSTANDING relationship. Refrain from sending kinky texts to just any girl you’re attracted to (like your sister’s friends, co-workers or classmates).
10. “Good news: girls are as turned on by taking pictures as you guys are from receiving them. ‘I get really aroused when my boyfriend asks me to take a pic of myself while I’m out somewhere unexpected, like out shopping or at a restaurant.'”
Again, the context of a relationship applies here. It also varies from woman to woman – most women would prefer not to be asked for nude pics much less actually enjoy taking them.
More Ridiculous Romance Tips
11. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
People are capable of feeling remorse and changing their ways. It’s okay to forgive but still be cautious. You also don’t have to if you don’t want to.
12. Having a baby will bring both of you closer together
While this may have worked in a few cases, having a child won’t magically solve whatever problems you’re having. It will only deflect and put off the inevitable.
13. Try meeting people at Alcoholic Anonymous, Weight Watchers and others
Please don’t do this. The foundation of a relationship should be built on trust and not on pretence. It also violates the anonymity of these groups. People come here to find help and not a spouse. Pretending you have a problem to meet someone is actually a problem all on its own.
Read Also: Valentine’s Day: Everything You Wanted To Know About The Holiday Of Love
14. Once you’ve hit a certain age, you have to lower your expectations
It’s okay to have standards, growing older is not an excuse to settle. As long as you’re being the best version of yourself, you also deserve someone who is trying to become the best version of themselves. Finding the right partner has no age limit.
15. No Means Yes
This might be disguised in different forms such as, “…even though they say no, their body language could be saying something else.” Please listen to what they SAY and not your own interpretation of what they do so this does not lead to several uncomfortable and intrusive encounters.