A hilarious divorce quote said; “I married Mr Right. I just didn’t know his first name was Always.” Another, attributed to Helen Rowland caught a major attention as it opined that “When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”
Thanks to those two quotes which (though not wholly) inspired an interesting survey on South African husbands.
We are well aware that legal dissolution of marriages is on the steady and constant rise and not peculiar to South Africa alone. Albeit it’s not usually legal in most South African cases. The lady or the man, as observed can just pack up their belongings and simply leave when they’ve had enough of the union.
No matter who initiates a divorce process, the process is accompanied by intense and contradictory emotional distress either on one side or both sides. And most times, even when there is still some attractions left in the marriage, the intense emotional distress is usually the chief cause of the traumatic and inevitable end.
For instance, while the other partner’s emotions incorporate the feelings of betrayal, shock, anger, reduced self-esteem, the wish to get even and the desire to reconcile, the initiator of the separation process are oftentimes confronted with the feeling of guilt, doubt, fear and resentment as they wonder if they’re about to take the best action for both parties. They clearly do not want to realize too late that they made an even bigger mistake.
South African wives whose opinions were randomly sampled acknowledged the under-listed as the “Annoying Attitudes And Behaviors” of South African husbands that can inspire them to quit their marriages.
Most Annoying Behaviors Of South African Husbands
1. Infidelity and Flirtatious Character
According to the South African wives interviewed, the major annoying behavior of their husbands that will make them desire to leave their marriages is when the husbands are unfaithful in marriage or insinuate sexual attraction in a playful manner to other ladies other than themselves (the wives). A wife from Sandton said “its a very painful behavior that says I’m no longer desirable. There’s nothing to wait for in marriage when your man behaves like that.” Interestingly, her husband who happens to be nearby when her opinion was sought added that “it’s an irritating behavior when men try to charm other ladies, some do it even with their wives close by.” He hugged, kissed his wife and added ” I love my wife and will not disrespect her with any of such behaviors in your list” as he collected our questionnaire from his wife and gave it back to us”.
2. Lazy and ‘Always-Drunk’ Habit
Next to unfaithfulness and flirtatious habits in marriage are the attributes of unwillingness to work, preference for leisurely relaxation and frequent intoxication by the consumption of excessive alcohol. Dear South African husbands, your wives are really considering leaving you if you’re consistently making yourself unavailable to useful activities but readily available to be drenched and saturated by intoxicating alcoholic beverages, so beware.
3. Grouchy and Grumpy Attitude
The wives also, massively agreed that its frustrating to have as husbands, men that are irritable, easily upset, quickly angered and always complaining. According to one of them, “the home will not be happy when the husband complains about everything”. South African husbands should thus learn how to appreciate their wives and avoid rude criticisms. The wives are not happy about such behaviors.
Also identified among the reasons why women may be tempted to leave their husbands are men who pay little or no attention to the feelings of their wives or describe their complaints as annoying. To them, its offensive and abnormal for husbands to disregard their emotional needs. To most, the husbands act as though they do not need any love care and attention. As such, they do not reciprocate the affections of their wives. Like one wife asked “why marry us if you can live without us?”
5. Selfish and Self-Centered Behaviors
Also included on the list are husbands who are egotistically obsessed with themselves alone. Such husbands according to their wives, wants everything to always be about them, and behave as though their wives were meant to be more of a servant than a partner. They are solely concerned with their own welfare and interest and do not want to be challenged, confronted or corrected.