Honestly, dating is hard. Even with the increase in social media popularity and all the dating apps out there, it isn’t getting any easier. People are daunted by the idea of meeting new people, going on dates, opening up and not have things work out in the end.
Truth, dating shouldn’t be so hard and it really doesn’t have to be. Finding a partner is literally one of the most fundamental things a person can do.
When dating goes wrong, binge eating junk food and watching Netflix alone (with no interruptions) may not totally sound like a bad idea, to be perfectly honest; but if done right, dating can be fun, can be beautiful and can definitely be worth it. Here a few dating tips to make you love life better:
1. Don’t Just Stick To The Bars
Going out and having a few drinks with friends is always a good idea, who knows – you might meet someone there. However, if you go out to get drinks with friends for the sole purpose of meeting someone, you’re limiting your options.
Be creative, try new places, sign up for that class you’ve always wanted to take – a dance class, a creative writing class or an art class. Keep an open mind, you might meet someone at the grocery store or on your way back from work. Just don’t stick to your usual spots, you’ll only end up seeing the same faces.
2. Go Online
Give credit where credit is due. Over the past decade, the internet has gone on to become the most important part of very many people’s lives. You keep up with family through the internet, you do most of your work with the internet, you impress strangers you’ve never met because of the internet – so it shouldn’t be a far-fetched idea to meet someone online. If you’re looking for a relationship or even a hookup, there are apps for that – just find one that matches your preference and swipe right.
3. Allow Your Friends Set You Up
Who knows your preference in the opposite partner better your closest pals? If you trust them with your secrets why not trust them to set you up. Your friends love you and want the best for you so you should be able to trust the people they set you up with. Meeting people through friends is more organic, comfortable and frankly, a lot easier.
Hint: Before you let your friends set you up, lay down some ground rules, remind them to set you up with someone who fits your bill not theirs or else, they might get carried away.
4. Look In The Friendzone
This is actually not a bad idea despite what you might think. There’s a reason why you are friends with this person, probably because they’re good, cool people. If they make you laugh and they get you and seem to genuinely care about you, then there’s a high chance that they’ll probably make a good boyfriend/girlfriend. Friendship is not a bad place for a relationship to start, you also get to boycott the awkward getting to know each other stage.
5. Be Yourself
You may have been told countless times to be the best version of yourself or to play it cool or some other variation of the same advice. The truth is, it is best to be your true self from the very beginning – that way if they stay, you know they are attracted to who you are as you are and not an edited version of yourself.
Who knows if they’ll stay once they get to see the part of you that you keep hidden? As awful as that sounds, it is exactly why you should be straightforward from the very beginning.
6. Don’t Overshare
While you should totally be yourself – don’t overshare every information about yourself from the get go. Decide what you can share as you get to know each other, as you come to trust each other.
Imagine telling a date everything about yourself and three months down the line you’re no longer speaking. It’s just not worth it. Also be sure to filter your words, don’t tell them how they are the spitting image of your father/mother, and especially don’t mention how your ex is still owing you money. Just avoid anything that might be awkward.
7. Don’t Let Your Friends Interfere
Yes, it is very important to get your friends opinion on you new paramour, however, if you get it too soon, their opinions might affect yours. If they don’t like your date, chances are the way you feel about them will decline. Avoid introducing your friends to them until you’re concrete about your feelings for them.
8. Don’t Waste His/Her Time
Even if you’re bored of being single, it’s not an excuse to keep someone you’re not genuinely interested in around. If you’re embarrassed by them or would rather do anything else than spending time with them, that’s probably a sign to move on. Focus on finding someone that actually makes you happy rather than someone who is just available.
9. Don’t Give Up On The First Try
The chances of you succeeding on your first date are pretty slim; dating takes a while to get right, so if you give up on the first try – you’ll miss out on all the best parts. Multiple tries give you the opportunities to meet different people and find the person that suits you perfectly. If you have a date that doesn’t go well, hang in there and try again with someone else
10. Believe Him/Her
If they tell you they’re too broken or too damaged or too untrusting or anything of the sorts, really – believe them. Don’t try to change them, don’t try to save them – put yourself first or else you’ll be unhappy in that relationship. Which begs the question – what’s the point of the relationship anyway if you’re just going to be unhappy?
11. Value Yourself
It is better to be single than miserable. Once you know your worth and that you matter, you won’t let anyone treat you in an undeserving way; this leads to a better date and a better relationship; which is what you want in the first place.